LANDQUART, Switzerland - Try as they may, the Zurich Intruders just can't seem to bring home two wins in a single weekend or field a consistent line up. It's always 1-1 with these guys, which might not yield a losing record, but almost guarantees spectator status for the September playoffs. Here's how it went down.
Intruders 44 - Wintherthur Warriors 12
From the opening snap, the opportunistic Intruders defense picked up where it left off in Rafz. JB, Arch and Matthias silenced the Warriors first three drives with INTs and QB Hoza pulled his annual Lazarus act, tossing 6 scores on the day. At least for one game, Zurich's points off of turnovers (POOTOS) were off the chain.
Henry was the straw that stirred the defensive drink, harassing opposing signal callers all day into ill-advised throws. Compared to the rest of the players on the pitch, he looked like he'd been shot out of a damn cannon. The Intruders scored on every first half drive, taking a 25-6 lead into the half on a spectacular Guay TD and another MVP performance.
As has been the story for much of this star-crossed season, injuries and absences set the tone for the rest of the afternoon. Both Archie and JB left the game in the first half, relegated to the sidelines for the remainder of the afternoon's festivities. To their credit, Todd and Craig hauled in scores and Matthias snatched his first INTs of the season, as the Intruders rolled on against the picturesque mountain backdrop.
To cap off an impressive all-around performance against the lesser Winterthur franchise, Juan Sanchez put retirement rumors to rest, tracking down a Hoza bomb for a deep score. No stranger to a chair these days, Sanchez kicked into a second gear unseen since 2014 and ran the route to perfection.
That's all for the good news, folks. If you wanna stop reading now, I will not hold it against you.
HSG Wolfpack 44 - Intruders 0
In the second tilt, Peter Lewis led the remains of the beleaguered Orange and Gray against their younger, quicker and far more organized (to be honest, who isn't at this point) opponents. The Intruders came out confident, trying a special play buoyed on their veteran savvy.
Hoza just missed Craig in the end zone to cap off the first drive. Close, but that's only good enough in horse shoes and hand grenades. While the stampede of creaky joints and tired legs fought admirably (other than Henry, who continued his whirling dervish assault on opposing QBs and registered his first sack), ultimately it was youth and vigor that triumphed on the day.
In the end, the Intruders set another team record, albeit an ignominious one at that, failing to score a point for the first time in team history. Still lounging at .500, the season could go either way, but they need luck, health and, most importantly, players for the final two games before the Sommerpause. Clear your schedules, tell your friends and join us next week where you could be enjoying post game beers with flag football luminaries and the historic city of St. Gallen.